December 1st, 2015

So, it's December the FIRST . . . . . . . 

Not January the FIRST 2016. But, December the FIRST.

Resolutions. Being Introspective. Changing the course of our destiny by joining a gym and losing 25 pounds--you know, these are the things we declare on January 1st. January is rife with change. Unavoidable. What does December usher in?


So, why can't we treat it as if it were the FIRST day of the New Year?

Unexpected. Unusual. Unbelievable.

Why not jump on the change train? Right now? Like, right now.

I'm about to turn 41. I have three kids. Boys. Yes, all boys. And they're 3,5,7-ish.

Yes. I planned this. Sort of.

I pretty much have been there and done that.


Yet, I am seeking more.

I ran a half marathon last year. I'm about to run another. OK, seriously: I run/walk. Now, why would I want to subject myself to that torture? Again?

Because, I'm here. Contemplating TIME. AGE. My season/cycle in life and, yeah. Pretty much: Who am I? Where am I? If I can survive 13.1 miles I should do it AGAIN!

You know, picking up Legos and Duplo Blocks--that's a serious core workout. Especially when you do it three times a day. So. The question is: Is this all there is? Is there anybody out there?

We never keep asking. We never stop looking. What's next? Who am I? Who do I want to be?

I'm at this weird point in life. One I think everyone meets once they've been married a while, with kids. Your life is no longer about just you. It's now all of you and the people you've decided to hitch to your wagon. You do forget who you are. You have to when you SERVE in a capacity, like Motherhood. But, maybe it's time to do something only about YOU.

Where am I going with this rambling?

To the Tree.

The Christmas tree.

To the cross.


Before I look at myself in the mirror, I need to look outward first.

So, December the 1st--I'm on to you. I'm paying attention.

To you, Lord. To myself. To the people around me--Who am I? Who am I now?

Any day is a good day to stop and investigate.

May today be your December 1st.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.   Jeremiah 29:11-14