Erica made me. Like lightning fast. BOOM. Blog.
Just do it.
I've been pondering this blog thing for a long time. I've written some things and sent them to people and they all support me. But, let's be honest: this is the worst time to start a blog.
Sure, I'm a mom to three very insane little boys and I teach preschool and I'm a wife and a mediocre one at that and have to keep the house up and laundry clean and pantry stocked and feed all my people and love on my aging dogs and shave my legs and try and brush my teeth and basically just keep everyone alive and blah, blah, blah. I'm like every mother trying to just survive today. I'm not unique. Life is hard y'all.
This, though, among all my excuses--this would be the most viable: I have lost my mojo.
I have lost all my mojo and I know it. I'm desperately trying to find it, knowing full well it's MIA.
We all have those times in our lives when we feel off. Maybe it's our job. Maybe it's our relationships. The kids. The finances. The weather. Allergies. Hormones. Maybe it's because you aren't praying enough. Maybe it's because you're not exercising. Weight gain. Lack of sleep. Eating too much crap. Not enough coffee. The color purple. I don't know--maybe it's ALL OF THE ABOVE.
The problem is that we just hit summertime. This is NOT the time to have lost your mojo. Seriously. Or to have gained 5 pounds.
I need my mojo, and I need it now. Like right now.
I know exactly where I need to go to find it (and I'm pretty sure I know why I lost it in the first place. But, that's another blog entry.) I need to head straight to God.
Jesus.I need to just start with Jesus.
But, it's not that easy. I've got no mojo y'all, remember? Mojo meaning: energy, motivation, a strong will, confidence, that strong sense of who you are and what you're doing is right.
It's hard to get back to Jesus when you have little people. I have three. 6, 4 and 2. Boys. THEY'RE A MAKIN' ME A CRAZY Y'ALL. I have no time for myself. Barely time to think complete sentences. My attempts to get up early and have some "quiet time" are always thwarted by some creature living in my home, human or canine.
I'm not writing this for sympathy. And certainly not pity.
You see, I'm earnestly asking for prayer. I don't seem to have the will to do it for myself right now. I'm like Paul in Romans 7:
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.
Yes, I KNOW what I NEED to do. There are several of them. But wanting to do them and actually doing them and being consistent in them to see results is a completely different ballgame.
I am one tired mama who has lost her mojo.
Have you been there? Do you see why this is a completely ridiculous time to start a blog?
Lord Jesus, I know you and I love you. I know you are there. I know you see me. But, you know how weary I am. I want to do all the things I need to do--for myself and my family--to be a better wife and mother. I'm just so tired. Grant me the motivation. Give me your will. Help me to get my life back in order and climb out of this season. Help me find my mojo, Lord! And lose 10 pounds.
Lord, help me to remember Galatians 6:9:
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I'm going to just keep breathing and praying and I know the fog will lift.
Pray for me? Like ALL summer long? I am so going to need it.
* all scriptures are taken from Bible Gateway, the NIV version.