So, about that mojo thing . .
You know how like in January, or the start of summer, or the first day of a new week where you're all gung ho with fresh resolve to do things differently and be new and different. That's me today.
Why do feel the need to have it all together in an instant when the timer starts?
Like in January. We expect to be a completely changed person when we wake up on the 1st. Skinny, successful and happy. The first day of summer we expect rainbows without rain and sunshine without sunburns and swimming without bloody toes and ice cream and all things wonderful and no mosquitoes and no kids fighting EVER.
We forget that change is incredibly hard.
It's not so much arriving to the place of perceived completion as it is the journey. We all know this. Its the journey, the getting there that matters. The long hard journey of detours and adventures and lot and lots of failures. That's what really forces us to change.
We forget. But, God doesn't. He KNOWS how dense we are.
We are the ones who expect instant perfection and feel like failures and inept when we trip over our own feet. That's pretty much me. Right now.
Summer hit me like a ton of bricks. Sure, I had ideas about how to make it good, being a better me for my kids and a better us as a family and yada, yada, yada. But, being a preschool teacher this year, I had no time to switch gears.
Y'all. let me just interject here: teachers are saints. I don't even place myself in a category with public school teachers who teach full time and are under all the stress and crazy of state education. I was there once. It's hard. Thank God for all the teachers out there.
Ok. With new resolve and one full insane week of summer under my belt, I'm ready to tackle the rest of this summer thing and get my mojo back.
Step one is forgiving myself for being so tired and blindsided by summer. Step two is taking today to plug into God and my family and do mostly nothing today.
We have VBS this week and I'm leading a group of 2 year olds. I need to get my game face on.
I'm praying today to be SOBER in mind, spirit and body today. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. I want to see you and I want to see ME. Thinking about Psalm 51:
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Have a great week y'all.