I try to post once a month. I noticed it's almost been two months. EEK!
If you glance back at the birth of this blog, I was lamenting the fact that I'd lost my mojo.
Well, it's still mostly missing. And, I'm still mostly lost.
Not sure if this is just part of growing up, or growing senile, or just a season. A very loooooooooong season.
I'm still stuck on that tilt-a-whirl (against my will) and I cannot seem to get off. (Melanie made me get on one in like, 1987, and I've been ruined ever since.)
The days seem to slip through my fingers like sand in the sandbox outback. My kids bounce around and off the walls and I can't get a handle on their homework and the fundraisers. The laundry, the groceries, the to-do lists, the bills. My husband walks in and out and we barely have the energy to ask, "How was your day?" I can't seem to make my body, much less my mind, work the way I used to be able to count on. I start over every morning, hopeful to get a grip--only to realize I've lost all control by lunchtime.
Being lost means someone is missing you--you have to be found.
If no one was looking for you, then you wouldn't be lost, right?
So, the answer lies in who's looking for you.
Think lost pets: we put collars around their necks with pink hearts and information and we microchip them so we can find them when they are missing.
Think Joyce Byers. Now, if you don't know who Joyce Byers is, get thee to the TV stat and binge watch Stranger Things on Netflix. But, Joyce Byers, like most mamas, knows her son is missing, lost--but NOT DEAD. She goes to extreme lengths to find him and she doesn't care who thinks she's completely lost her marbles with all those Christmas lights.
Who's looking for you?
Is it you?
Is it someone?
Is it God?
I may complain about being lost and not knowing where I am exactly in the space time continuum, but there is something still and quiet, but fiercely concrete, deep inside the crevasses of me:
I may be lost--but He knows exactly where I am.
He knows what's going on and what I'm dealing with. He knows my path, and all the obstacles. He knows my thoughts, my heartbeats and my dreams. He doesn't have to look for me--he sees me. All the time. I am never lost to Him.
These are my favorite verses for the times I feel lost:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. . . Jeremiah 29:11-14
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.